Tuesday, July 31, 2012
New bathingsuits
The kids all got new bathingsuits this year. We got Ethan one a few weeks ago at Walmart and then the girls went shopping with Grandma Connie and Aunt Jennifer and got new one's. Samantha's sort of looks like Wonder Woman, doesn't she? They also got matching flip flops. They were such girls too, They flounced around in them and haven;t taken them off in hours. Wearing them around the house.
I don't know how it happens, but life just get's away with me.
I have been thinking about blogging for a few weeks now, but have had such a heavy heart. My dear friend Heather lost her little girl Eslyn two weeks ago and I can't stop having so many feelings about it. When she was first diagnosed I felt terrified. Eslyn and my Samantha were great friends and I felt this fear that if it could happen to them, it could happen to me. I slept in bed with Sam that night, holding her close. As the weeks went by (only 3 short one's), I felt the need to help, but wasn't sure how. We have any amazing church family in this area and I knew the Kubaleks were being taken care of. Heather's sister was here for the summer and could kind of take over as a second Mom while Heather was at the hospital and I knew people were offering to take the kids and bring meals and help out in any way. I was talking to my friend Amy, a mutual friend of Heather's and mine, and also a Pediatric Nurse up at the Univerisity of Michigan, and I asked her if she thought it would be ok if I went to the hospital to sit with Heather. I wasn't sure if non-family members were allowed. She said she was sure I could so I contacted Heather and asked. I was nervous about what her response would be because I really felt like I needed to be there that thursday. She replied with a yes and off I went a few days later. Amy watched my kids while I drove my junker of a car down there. I said a prayers before I left that I would make it.
I made it safely to the hospital and sat with Heather for a few hours. We had a great visit. She has a strength inside her that amazes me. We talked about life and the goings on in both of ours. I brought her a quilt that I had made for Eslyn and a "Happy Book" I had made for her. I was thinking while visiting with her that I first met her when Eslyn was a few weeks old and they had just moved to town. She had some music playing and I told her I would burn some Disney CD's for her to play for Eslyn when I got home and bring them to her soon. I left there, promising to return soon.
I went home that night and burnt the CD's. Amy and I were taking our kids to the Toledo Zoo the following day and I was going to ask Amy if we could swing by the Hospital on the way home and drop off the music. As we were pulling into the Zoo parking lot Amy got a call from another friend of ours telling us that Eslyn had passed away that morning. We both jumped out of the car ran behind it (so the kids wouldn't see us) and started to sob. We decided, after pulling ourselves together, that we would have a day dedicated to Eslyn. She loved to Toledo Zoo and we knew she would want us to have fun. We didn't tell our kids till we got home that night.
I think about how blessed I feel that I was able to be with Heather and Eslyn hours before her passing. I feel blessed to know the Kubaleks. Their strength is like no other.
I have been keeping an eye on Samantha to see how she is really feeling about all of this. When we told the kids she started sobbing. She has had many moments where she will say, "We're having our friends over, and I get to play with Eslyn...." or "Is Eslyn going to be there?" and then she get's sad again This past sunday she was sitting in her sunday school class. Many people with kids her age are out of town right now so there were just a few boys in there with her. She came over to me and started to cry. I asked her why and she said she was all alone. I told her she had the little boys there. She cried harder and said she wanted her friends Eslyn and Savannah (who is out of town). She knows what happened and she knows that Eslyn is with Heavenly Father. She thinks that's ok, but she misses her a lot.
I am sorry for such a sad and long post, but I have been needing to talk about this, get it off my chest. I go about my day and then suddenly feel this sadness creap over me and it's hard to get out of it sometimes. I know that Eslyn is in a much better place. I know she is with our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ. I know these things happen for a reason. The most comforting thing for me is that I will see Eslyn again. That Samantha will be able to see her again and that they can pick up where they left off. My faith is stronger because of the trials I have gone through and those around me have gone through. I feel my Savior walking with me and helping me along the way. Like the song says “Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: ‘I know that my Redeemer lives!’”
I have been thinking about blogging for a few weeks now, but have had such a heavy heart. My dear friend Heather lost her little girl Eslyn two weeks ago and I can't stop having so many feelings about it. When she was first diagnosed I felt terrified. Eslyn and my Samantha were great friends and I felt this fear that if it could happen to them, it could happen to me. I slept in bed with Sam that night, holding her close. As the weeks went by (only 3 short one's), I felt the need to help, but wasn't sure how. We have any amazing church family in this area and I knew the Kubaleks were being taken care of. Heather's sister was here for the summer and could kind of take over as a second Mom while Heather was at the hospital and I knew people were offering to take the kids and bring meals and help out in any way. I was talking to my friend Amy, a mutual friend of Heather's and mine, and also a Pediatric Nurse up at the Univerisity of Michigan, and I asked her if she thought it would be ok if I went to the hospital to sit with Heather. I wasn't sure if non-family members were allowed. She said she was sure I could so I contacted Heather and asked. I was nervous about what her response would be because I really felt like I needed to be there that thursday. She replied with a yes and off I went a few days later. Amy watched my kids while I drove my junker of a car down there. I said a prayers before I left that I would make it.
I made it safely to the hospital and sat with Heather for a few hours. We had a great visit. She has a strength inside her that amazes me. We talked about life and the goings on in both of ours. I brought her a quilt that I had made for Eslyn and a "Happy Book" I had made for her. I was thinking while visiting with her that I first met her when Eslyn was a few weeks old and they had just moved to town. She had some music playing and I told her I would burn some Disney CD's for her to play for Eslyn when I got home and bring them to her soon. I left there, promising to return soon.
I went home that night and burnt the CD's. Amy and I were taking our kids to the Toledo Zoo the following day and I was going to ask Amy if we could swing by the Hospital on the way home and drop off the music. As we were pulling into the Zoo parking lot Amy got a call from another friend of ours telling us that Eslyn had passed away that morning. We both jumped out of the car ran behind it (so the kids wouldn't see us) and started to sob. We decided, after pulling ourselves together, that we would have a day dedicated to Eslyn. She loved to Toledo Zoo and we knew she would want us to have fun. We didn't tell our kids till we got home that night.
I think about how blessed I feel that I was able to be with Heather and Eslyn hours before her passing. I feel blessed to know the Kubaleks. Their strength is like no other.
I have been keeping an eye on Samantha to see how she is really feeling about all of this. When we told the kids she started sobbing. She has had many moments where she will say, "We're having our friends over, and I get to play with Eslyn...." or "Is Eslyn going to be there?" and then she get's sad again This past sunday she was sitting in her sunday school class. Many people with kids her age are out of town right now so there were just a few boys in there with her. She came over to me and started to cry. I asked her why and she said she was all alone. I told her she had the little boys there. She cried harder and said she wanted her friends Eslyn and Savannah (who is out of town). She knows what happened and she knows that Eslyn is with Heavenly Father. She thinks that's ok, but she misses her a lot.
I am sorry for such a sad and long post, but I have been needing to talk about this, get it off my chest. I go about my day and then suddenly feel this sadness creap over me and it's hard to get out of it sometimes. I know that Eslyn is in a much better place. I know she is with our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ. I know these things happen for a reason. The most comforting thing for me is that I will see Eslyn again. That Samantha will be able to see her again and that they can pick up where they left off. My faith is stronger because of the trials I have gone through and those around me have gone through. I feel my Savior walking with me and helping me along the way. Like the song says “Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives: ‘I know that my Redeemer lives!’”
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